i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
