He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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