So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This baby is an asshole
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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