my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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