It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
