We're like a lot better than the average bears
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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