I'm jealous of your bromance
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize