I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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