What did we do last night that was yellow?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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