Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
