By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
