Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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