I wish I could punch you in the face.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You took a bar mat shot.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
