Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
