Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize