dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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