That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
