Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
