Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
