I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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