Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
