Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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