If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize