I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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