I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
