and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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