how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
