hotel room ftw
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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