Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Randomize
