It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
