Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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