it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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