oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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