stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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