watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
