the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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