I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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