You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
