I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
