the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
