Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
