Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize