made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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