I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sorry about my life...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize