I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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