What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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