I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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