I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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