Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
