When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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