Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
