my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Alive.
So much puke
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
