Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize