I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i barfeds in our rink
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence