she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.