Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.

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  (661): Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though. http://tfl.nu/ww5c
  Replies (9) Good night (903) Bad night (917)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.

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  (724): And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after. http://tfl.nu/p612
  Replies (38) Good night (5987) Bad night (929)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.

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  (360): The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade. http://tfl.nu/rkoj
  Replies (48) Good night (4296) Bad night (626)
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  (760): View more from California

  What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?

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  (760): What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch? http://tfl.nu/c2lm
  Replies (30) Good night (5391) Bad night (808)
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  (310): View more from California

  I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

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  (310): I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips. http://tfl.nu/o6k6
  Replies (15) Good night (1660) Bad night (2996)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...

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  (612): he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it... http://tfl.nu/39p0
  Replies (20) Good night (1156) Bad night (6931)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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  (781): on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks? http://tfl.nu/o217
  Replies (6) Good night (3290) Bad night (850)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.

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  (860): Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried. http://tfl.nu/p6ag
  Replies (13) Good night (2603) Bad night (4591)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

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  (719): She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance. http://tfl.nu/lni2
  Replies (2) Good night (1498) Bad night (648)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before

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  (339): 100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before http://tfl.nu/n0g6
  Replies (5) Good night (1042) Bad night (484)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live

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  (614): After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live http://tfl.nu/6xtu
  Replies (6) Good night (538) Bad night (2261)
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  (760): View more from California

  You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker

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  (760): You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker http://tfl.nu/zuvx
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (407)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.

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  (847): Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken. http://tfl.nu/xu0v
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (290)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".

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  (773): no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things". http://tfl.nu/laia
  Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of

  (212): View more from New York

  fuck you.

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  (615): well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of (212): fuck you. http://tfl.nu/d4hh
  Replies (3) Good night (402) Bad night (664)

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