i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night