You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
