We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
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The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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