pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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