the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
