if you like me you must not know who I am
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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