I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
