Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
