i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
