Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
